A Load of Barnum
A Load of Barnum: Validation and the Self
By Jenica Amalita
The history of man is in many ways the history of exploitation. But it is also the history of man’s need for self-validation. Confirmation that you aren’t wrong, that you are close to the truth, underlines most of human desire—meeting the right person, getting the right job, believing the right things. A Barnum statement, also known as the Forer effect, is the term used to explain both these inextricably linked phenomena. Barnum statements point to natural human tendencies but shroud them in the mist of ambiguity. Here, anything generic is posited as specific to a person and their lived experience.
“You tend to be somewhat reserved, but when you choose, you can be quite outgoing. The only thing holding you back is yourself. Trusting others doesn’t come easily, as you’ve been hurt in the past. Letting go might seem painful, but it’s the only way to finally be who you want to be.”
“All you need to do is try harder. You are talented, but unwilling to put yourself out there. If you decide to invest in yourself, you won’t be disappointed.”
“Even though you struggle to take care of yourself, you make time for others and are sensitive to their needs. You work hard and smile a lot, not wanting to be a burden on those around you. Learn to make time for yourself—whether it’s something as simple as soaking in the tub after a long day or stealing away for some alone time.”
All of these statements share three commonalities. Firstly, they could easily apply to anyone. Secondly, they all point to what society has deemed a flaw in one’s personality. Thirdly, they are empowering statements that acknowledge one’s struggles and empathize with the reader or listener. Widely used by astrologers, card dealers, fortune tellers, and even personality tests, Barnum statements have also found their way into the world of marketing. Their vagueness allows them to appeal to large groups with varied interests, enabling exploitation in all its forms.
While questioning the nature of exploitation seems to be the most obvious route, some better questions to ask would be, “What is it about ourselves that makes us vulnerable enough to seek validation?” or “How is it that being offered what we want to hear is enough to startle our brains out of thinking and into accepting?” We humans are inherently self-seeking and find it hard to see beyond ourselves. Yet, we are also paradoxes. Knowing that we can’t see beyond ourselves, and that others are like us in this aspect, we still expect to be fully seen and fully understood. When someone offers this, even in the form of a Barnum statement that places the burden of filling in the gaps on us, we choose to accept whatever we’ve been given.
Surprisingly, negative Barnum statements aren’t accepted as easily.
“You aren’t as self-critical as you should be. If you paid closer attention to how you behave, you would realize that you are quite impulsive and rash, and you cause more harm to yourself than good.”
“Procrastinating only stresses you out, but you choose to indulge this tendency every time. Promising to be better in the future is simply an act of scapegoating your inability to take charge of your life. If anyone must hold you accountable for your life, it should be you. Yet, you squander time as if it weren’t important.”
While experts in the field use jargon like “subjective validation” and “Pollyanna effect” to explain away this rejection of the negative, a better way to understand this is to look into a mirror and ask, “What can’t be seen?”
There is a reason the Barnum statement is considered validating rather than enlightening. As humans, we crave acceptance because we aren’t always entirely able to accept ourselves. Our need to change the way we look, to cover up our blemishes, and to carefully construct how others perceive us doesn’t point to others’ shortcomings as much as it points to ours. Since we are unable to accept our flaws, we fear that we’ll be looked down upon—or even abandoned—by others once they’re made aware of our hidden selves. It's not that we can’t be critical of ourselves; it’s simply that we don’t want others to criticize us. And so, a negative Barnum is written off as applicable to someone else, while a positive one is welcomed with open arms.
While it seems Barnum statements have become in and of themselves a critique of human nature, they can also be seen as a unifier, a means of understanding someone else through the lens of the self. A Barnum statement can help us accept that others are as flawed as we are and as much in need of validation. What began as exploitation can turn into reconciliation, a reconciliation of the self to the self, and of the self with others. If ambiguity is necessary to fill in the gaps, then a Barnum statement can also become what we use to close the gap between our isolated, wandering selves.
